Post by NEIL JEFFERY KRONKITE on Apr 17, 2015 2:21:13 GMT
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Name Neil Jeffery Kronkite
[break]Nicknames Mainly Kronk, but also Jeff and Kronky.
[break]Name Symbolism (OOC) Neil- Welp, I realized we didn’t have any boy N names. So I came up with Neil. XD Jeffery- Jeffery is a name usually only little kids get called! So Jeffery represents Kronk’s extremely child-like mindset and energy. Kronkite- I had to put Kronk in there somehow!
[break]Age 37
[break]Date of Birth June 1st
[break]Occupation Chef
[break]Height 6’3”
[break]Weight 260 lbs.
[break]Body Fat 10%
[break]Hair Black/Graying
[break]Eyes Brown
[break]Face Claim Tyler Christopher
[break]Sexuality Heterosexual (Straight)
[break]Relationship Status Single
[break][break]
Kronk… how to put this? Well, I guess you could say, at the least, that he is definitely a character. It's almost like he never grew up, and to this day remains eight years old though he just recently celebrated his thirty-seventh birthday. Fluent in restaurant lingo, restating things, and squirrel-ese (or at least so he claims), he's the funny man of Wonderland, much like he used to be in Kuzco's court. Sometimes his antics make for some great comic relief. He is not a prankster however. Most of the laughs he generates come from good, clean, accidental circumstances, unintentional slips of the tongue, or just things he doesn't get and hilariously screws up.
[break]Also attesting to his childish nature, he adores children. If he's not eating, sleeping, cooking, in the kitchen, or, erm, cooking or sleeping, you'll probably find him out playing double dutch with kids. He also likes visiting the orphanage. Sometimes he wishes that he would have gotten married earlier in life so that he could have had a family. Did he have one before the point where his memory blanks out? The thought often keeps him awake at night.
[break]His dream job always was and always will be a chef. Kronk loves cooking to the point that he does all his own, as well as running his restaurant. Years of experience (well, at least he thinks, years of experience, after all he can only remember three months back) have made him an excellent cook. It is said that his best dish comes from his top-secret, extra-special recipe for foie gras- duck liver. However he does have other, more appetizing specialties, the most famous of which is probably spinach puffs.
[break]His conscience is developed to the point that there are two clear sides to his right and wrong. To him, they manifest themselves as an angel and Mephistopheles, and rest on his shoulder. When he has to make a tough decision he often pauses and talks to them, which can be weird if he starts pointing to his shoulders. Otherwise, however, it just seems that he's talking endlessly to himself.
[break]At first when one meets him, though, he seems to be little more than a bumbling oaf that would be perfect working next to a certain purple-skinned, empress-wannabe who is living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth villain as their muscle. He's solid, tough, strong, and when he wants to be, immovable. He takes orders well, though he's not quite good at carrying them out- he operates much better on a self-planned schedule. Still, he always sees things though to the end, no matter how long it takes.
[break][break]
Kronk was born during the time of the glorious Inca empire, a time in Mesoamerican history when progress was being made, the eating was good, men grew big and strong, and boy scout troops learned squirrel-ese as part of their mandatory training. Wait... what?
[break]Well, in any case, Kronk had a normal upbringing, just like that of any other child during that time frame. He had a mother named Mani and a father named Papi, and they lived happily together in a little hut nearby the palace where the emperor resided. Mani and Papi worked as health and fitness advocates in addition to their other jobs. Both tried to take time out of their busy lives to be the best parents they could be to their only son, and for the most part they succeeded. There were some little things, however, that should have been different/better. The biggest one was that Papi was a bit short-tempered, and from the start was harsh on Kronk. This especially became evident as Kronk grew to become a little bit... well... different than other boys his age. Kronk was a giant, and quickly shot up to be taller than most of them, but he was a gentle giant. He was never tough, didn't want to wrestle, and was sometimes awkward and clumsy. He joined boy scouts as a kid and found a talent in talking to squirrels, a pursuit that was in no way at all manly, like Papi wanted.
[break]The first time Kronk helped his mother cook was the first time that he truly found his passion. The smells were so good, and it was fun measuring out all the ingredients and popping them in the brick oven and watching the creations rise. It didn't matter if the recipe turned out good or bad, either. It was all the same. Kronk just loved cooking. He wasn't too big on putting things away, but his mom told him over and over that it, too, was part of the process so he got used to it and bore through.
[break]Papi didn't like this at all. Whenever he came in the room and saw Kronk cooking and feeding the squirrels, he voiced his disapproval and took away Kronk's oven mitts. Adorable little Kronk would then cry and run to his room. Or, later, as he got older, slink back to his room. He really did try to be what his father wanted him to be, but time and time again he failed to get an approval from Papi.
[break][break]Kronk grew into a powerful young man, with no ounce of evil in his heart at all. He remained involved in the troop, and even attained the highest rank, squeakity-squeaky-scout. But little did he know that he was soon to enter into a new chapter in his life.
[break]Kronk was on the way to scouts one day as a 25-year-old (he hadn't found a job yet, even with his amazing Squirrel-ese skills, and so still lived with his parents) when he saw someone come out of a palace side door, and kick someone else down the steep stairs. Kronk stopped to watch. It was an old purple-skinned, empress-wannabe, living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth woman, and the poor unfortunate soul falling down the stairs was a beefy man dressed in a palace uniform, who landed at the bottom gasping and hurting.
[break]The woman looked around and saw Kronk watching. She grinned, and pointed to him, beckoning him over. Kronk gasped a little bit and went to the stairs. When he passed the other guy he awkwardly reached down and patted him on the head. Then he went to the woman, cringing all the way up and wondering if he was going to suffer the same fate.
[break]But no. The lady asked- well, no, more like commanded- him to be her assistant. Then she introduced herself as Yzma, advisor to the emperor. Despite her obvious cruelty, Kronk was flattered. He didn't even have to say anything to accept. It was actually kind of nice.
[break][break]When he went home that night and told his Papi that he had gotten a job with the Emperor's advisor, he wasn't sure but he thought that he saw him smile a little bit. His mother congratulated him and cried a little at his impending move.
[break]And so Kronk found a not-quite-standard niche at the palace. He became a favorite with both Yzma and the emperor (Kuzco even gave him treats!). By day he was just Yzma's handyman, doing whatever official errands she asked him to run, but at night... he became her evil assistant! He had to keep this a secret, which was hard sometimes, it was just so exciting, but he managed somehow to cover up all their attempts at poisoning the teenage Emperor Kuzco and/or taking over his empire.
[break]But then one day their biggest, most daring attempt of all was commenced by Kuzco's biggest, most daring attempt at getting rid of them. In lieu of his eighteenth birthday, Kuzco must have decided that when he came in for the fifteen millionth time to find Yzma in emperor costume, talking to the peasants, that would be the last day she would work for him. And then and there, Yzma was fired. Angry, Yzma, Kronk right behind her, stormed down to their secret lab, where Kronk immediately got out all the stone busts of Kuzco he could find. He knew that she would want to destroy them with a big hammer. After a while of that, her anger boiled over to the point that she went to her lab and as always planned on how to get rid of the emperor once and for all.
[break]First she wanted to turn him into a flea, put him in a box, put that box in another box, mail it to herself, and smash it all with a hammer, but then she realized that they didn't have enough for postage. But then she knocked over one of their vials, and a flower died in a puff of smoke. The lightbulb went on in her head. She declared that they would poison him with the pink stuff. How about they invite him over for birthday dinner/going away dinner and mix it in with his drink? It was brilliant. It was perfect.
[break]Kronk would get to cook his spinach puffs!
[break][break]And so the deed was done, and before they knew it Kuzco was crashing through the door to Kronk and Yzma's lavishly-decorated table, a ball of energy as usual. Really Kronk felt sorry for the kid but being the villainess's helper, he could do nothing to help him. Kronk mixed the drinks right away, putting the poison potion in one of the three cups, and was about to give the emperor his drink, when Kuzco mentioned something burning. Kronk gasped and dashed to the kitchen to rescue his spinach puffs.
[break]It was a miracle, but the appetizers were only singed! He did a little dance for joy, making a note to thank Kuzco later for his sharp nose (which wouldn't be possible, he'd be dead!) and traipsed back out to the dining area, where Yzma was waiting, annoyed. Kronk set down the puffs and went to serve drinks again- but in the hurried moment had completely forgotten which drink he had put the poison in. He had a panic moment but managed to calm himself down and go back to the table to mix more poison in... but there was none left, he had used it all. So he put his brain cells together and simply mixed all the drinks together. A pink puff eminated from the concoction.
[break]Then motioning to Yzma not to drink the poison, he served it to the emperor. They drank to a long and happy reign by Kuzco- and while Kronk let it dribble down his chin, and Yzma didn't drink all all, the emperor drained his cup.
[break]Moments later he was out, cold. Yzma rejoiced, and praised Kronk. However higher praise was not to be, because all at once Kuzco popped up again. Yzma totally freaked out, and did her best to make amends.
[break]Then, much to the empress-wannabe and her assistant's horror, Kuzco sprouted some long llama ears... and then his neck lengthened and grew fur... Yzma took some broccoli and started bashing two against each other. At first Kronk didn't get it but when she muttered to hit Kuzco on the head, Kronk went over and did it with the bowl of broccoli.
[break]It turned out that Kronk had accidentally used llama-transforming poison... oops. Understandably, Yzma was angry. Still, in her villainy, she didn't kick Kronk out right away. She just made him promise to finish killing Kuzco. Somehow Kronk also convinced her to allow them to have dessert and coffee, too.
[break][break]And so later Kronk found himself carrying a large red bag, slung over his shoulder, and creeping down into the bowels of the palace, through the darkness, keeping to the shadows, accompanied by his own, self-sung theme song. No one at all noticed him, which Kronk considered a great accomplishment. (In all actuality, everyone noticed him, but he was so silly no one thought suspiciously of him.)
[break]Finally he got to the palace waterfall, where he was planning to drop the bag in and watch it go over. Kronk hefted the bag over the edge of the bridge and left to go. But that terrible conscience of his stopped him. His little angel asked him if he was just going to let him die like that. Then the demon dropped in and tried to prove that he was better, doing one handed handstands and shizz like that. But in the end Kronk decided to save Kuzco, 'cause the angel was right. There was no way he was going to just let the emperor die. Kronk was just as close to the emperor as he was to Yzma. And he felt sorry for the little guy. Yzma would be mad again, but she had to understand that he had more compassion than she did.
[break]However, a little problem that happened made it so that he didn't even have to tell her! Coming back down the stairs, Kronk tripped, and the bag with the llama-emperor inside flopped onto the cart of a peasant with a green poncho. Kronk tried to chase him through the crowd, but the poncho guy disappeared before he could catch him.
[break][break]Kronk just acted like he had let Kuzco go over the waterfall after all. Really he was relieved that he hadn't needed to compromise his feeling of goodwill and at the same time made sure that the emperor was safe. Soon, with Kuzco missing and presumed dead, Yzma had become the new monarch. Being the emperor's advisor, she was naturally next in line to the throne. Everything was pretty swell for the first couple of days. Yzma really was enjoying her newfound position and they were both reveling in their success.
[break]But it didn't take long for Kronk to open his big mouth. Somehow in all his quick babbling Yzma had suspicion to believe that Kuzco wasn't dead and Kronk had botched the job, subsequently hiding it from her. Man, he had never seen her face redder! But she still didn't fire him. It wasn't the last straw that broke the purple-skinned, empress-wannabe, living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth camel's back (or, at least, his own back), and soon he found himself running around the countryside, carrying Yzma in a big purple tent. Out here in the field was where his skills as a scout truly came in handy. It was through his communications with a squirrel that they learned of Kuzco's near-death encounter with a vicious group of black jaguars, and how he was saved by a man in a green poncho... the same, Kronk figured, who had been pulling the cart on which the red bag had bounced.
[break][break]Squeaker’s information led them to a small restaurant in the backwoods of the kingdom. The smell as they walked in was alright to Kronk, who had been used to eating peasant food before being employed at the palace, but he thought it needed a little bit of improvement. Yzma however, did not find it appealing at all. Her first question when she was handed the menu was wether there was anything that wasn’t swimming in gravy.
[break]Kronk didn’t notice the fat man behind him was slightly familiar until Yzma went up to talk to the chef, and at the same time, the other guy’s wife got up and headed to the kitchen. Kronk struck up a lively conversation, which ended up with him not getting any closer to why the man seemed so familiar.
[break]When Yzma didn’t come back after a minute, Kronk just decided to go into the kitchen by himself. He ended up walking in at just the right time, as just as he did the chef stormed out, quitting his job. Yzma and the fat one’s wife had apparently driven him to the edge.
[break]Kronk’s hands trembled at first, but he looked at the hat in his hands and put it on. Then he stepped behind the stove and glanced at the gravy bubbling in the pot, no sooner than the waiter lady came back and read off a long list of orders to fill… it was pure jibberish to anyone else in that establishment, but the orders were music to Kronk’s ears. He recited them back in perfect form and got straight to work.
[break]Meanwhile Yzma came in… over and over and over, changing her mind over and over and over, about wether she wanted cheese… it was quite dizzying, but the distraction of cooking kept Kronk’s head in line. She was one crazy woman, that was for sure. He wondered how he put up with her sometimes. He answered her demands aimlessly and continued to cook, serving his orders right up no problem.
[break][break]Before long, the replacement cook showed up, and Kronk was relieved from his duties as chef. The waitress wanted him to stay and be permanent replacement, an offer that tempted Kronk very much, but he still had his duty to Yzma to fulfill. Before he knew it they were back on the road again, searching all over for a talking llama.
[break]However, in the back of Kronk’s mind, the identity of the man at the restaurant still nagged. He knew it… but it just eluded him.
[break]That is, until that night when Kronk woke up with a start. Hold on! The identity of the restaurant guy… he was the guy whose cart Kuzco’s bag had bounced onto! Kronk immediately went to Yzma’s tent to tell her, but unfortunately walked in on her beauty mask and cucumbered eyes.
[break][break]Yzma was far from angry with him this time. She was proud he had remembered, actually. It didn’t take long to figure out that the peasant in question was named Pacha and he was kind of the communal head of a nearby village on a hill. (Kronk seemed to recall thinking that Kuzco was thinking of building his summer getaway home on that hill… Kuzcotopia?)
[break]And so the evil duo invented excuses that they were distant relatives of Pacha’s and went to his house. The wife welcomed them warmly though a little bit hesitantly, and while she and Yzma talked in the kitchen, Kronk went to play jump rope with Pacha’s two young children, Chaca and Tipo. It was a grand time, they swapped stories and Kronk even helped them on their squirrelese a bit in addition to jump roping, a lot.
[break]While Chicha, the wife, was distracted, Yzma came and played for a little while, and also whispered about their plans. Still Kronk was unwilling to leave the kids. However they were both unaware that Pacha and Kuzco had come back and were alerting Chicha to what was happening. When they saw each other again, the wife demanded that she take them on a tour of the house… and locked them in the pantry instead, taking out the lock.
[break]Yzma did her usual round of threats, saying that she was going to burn the house to the ground once they told her where the talking llama was— corrected to that they were going to burn the house to the ground if they didn’t tell where the talking llama was. Finally Yzma decided it was time to break down the door, and on the count of three… she sped out the door, slipping on some floor wax, hitting her head on the door and flying into a wheelbarrow, and rolling down the hill, ran into a bees’ nest, getting covered in honey, a random pillow, which gave her feathers, and then finally crashing into a birthday piñata just as the kids were about to start whacking on it.
[break]Kronk couldn’t stop laughing. He promised Chicha and the kids that he’d come back to visit someday. Perhaps they could have a family reunion.
[break][break]Soon it was off pursuing Kuzco and Pacha again, and they kept in pretty close chase until, in an attempt to cross a large chasm via tent-glider, they got hit by a bolt of lightning and dropped into the water below.
[break]A while later….
[break]Yzma and Kronk watched Pacha and Kuzco look through all the potions, searching for the human one. However when they found the shelf, it was gone! ”Looking for this?” Yzma crowed, and showed the potion.
[break]But wait… how had they gotten back? To this day Kronk really doesn’t even know… Perhaps it had something to do with trapdoors and dumb luck but… yeah.
[break]Anyway now it had seemed that the villains had won for good. Yzma ordered Kronk to kill the other pair, and for a split second his brain reacted, determined to do whatever she asked. But then there came a rebuke from his conscience, and his Mephistopheles popped onto his shoulder. The angel was a little late, he was in the of doing his perm, but he too eventually joined the party.
[break]It seemed that no one else could see his conscience, but he did, and he was talking to it/them.
[break]It took her this long, but finally Yzma boiled over, declaring that Kronk was only like a monkey, and that she never liked her spinach puffs. The lashing out totally shocked and stunned Kronk, and he started to cry. The devil cocked his pitchfork, and declared that she was going down. It was the angel, however, who said sagely, “The wicked will receive their just punishment from above.”
[break]At the same time, all three of them looked up, and there… was their salvation. The chandelier. Why would there be a chandelier in their secret lab? But oh well. Kronk whipped around, cut the line, and winced as the huge iron thing came down.
[break]However, when the dust cleared, Yzma was still sitting there, tapping her foot. The center of the chandelier had gone straight around her. She was skinny as a twig. Obviously fed up with Kronk, she called the palace guards and proceeded to knock over the cabinet where all the potions were, scattering them all over the floor. Then she “inadvertently” lost the human potion in the mess. In the next moment a unit arrived, and Yzma ordered them to kill the llama.
[break][break]And so a gigantic chase ensued. Kronk tried to keep up, but ended up getting lost in the many odd quirky twists and turns in the palace. Eventually he found a door, which he opened and learned led outside. In slamming it open however he accidentally crushed Yzma, who was now a cat. This was in part what helped Pacha and Kuzco to win the day, and return the now eighteen year old emperor to his former glory.
[break][break]After that everyone was happy. Kuzco built a small but fun summer retreat on a hill, and a scout shelter was built there as well. Kronk served as head counselor and teacher of all things squirrel-ese. He also decided to take the job as head chef at Mudka’s Meat Hut, permanently.
[break]Soon, with the coming of kids near and far to the scout camp, Kronk found the need to hire on new personnel. And that was how he met Miss Birdwell. She was a great fit for the girl scouts, who needed a strong leader. Kronk also thought that she was really pretty.
[break]They thought it would be happily ever after…
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[break]Kronk woke up feeling strange. He opened his eyes to the sight of a chef hat, sitting beside him. That was a super-familiar sight, but somehow it just felt all wrong. He swung his legs out of bed, and rubbed his eyes, then looked at his hands. They were callused, and there was a band-aid on one of his fingers. Burn, from the feel of it. Faintly he remembered he had burned it on a... pan? Yeah, a pan. Everything was so strange... but familiar all at the same time. He knew that his name was Neil. Neil Jeffery Kronkite. But everyone called him Kronk. He was thirty-seven years old, a chef, and owned his own restaurant. That was it, everything he remembered.
[break]Over the next three months, he faced the challenge of re-discovering himself. Life was one big adventure to him. He found that he liked being around kids. Okay, okay, he loved being around and playing with kids. Many of the townspeople who dealt with them were became friends as well, like Perdita at the orphanage, and Bailee Goodwin, the schoolteacher. Then there were those he went into business with, like Jack Burton, the event planner. Whenever he needed an event catered, Jack would call up Kronk. Neil wouldn't change a thing about this new life. He's quite enjoying himself. Heaven only knows what the future holds for him.
[break][break]
Player Bry
[break]Other Characters Daniel Johnston, Carl Fredricksen, and Clayton Savage
Basics
Name Neil Jeffery Kronkite
[break]Nicknames Mainly Kronk, but also Jeff and Kronky.
[break]Name Symbolism (OOC) Neil- Welp, I realized we didn’t have any boy N names. So I came up with Neil. XD Jeffery- Jeffery is a name usually only little kids get called! So Jeffery represents Kronk’s extremely child-like mindset and energy. Kronkite- I had to put Kronk in there somehow!
[break]Age 37
[break]Date of Birth June 1st
[break]Occupation Chef
[break]Height 6’3”
[break]Weight 260 lbs.
[break]Body Fat 10%
[break]Hair Black/Graying
[break]Eyes Brown
[break]Face Claim Tyler Christopher
[break]Sexuality Heterosexual (Straight)
[break]Relationship Status Single
[break][break]
Personality
Kronk… how to put this? Well, I guess you could say, at the least, that he is definitely a character. It's almost like he never grew up, and to this day remains eight years old though he just recently celebrated his thirty-seventh birthday. Fluent in restaurant lingo, restating things, and squirrel-ese (or at least so he claims), he's the funny man of Wonderland, much like he used to be in Kuzco's court. Sometimes his antics make for some great comic relief. He is not a prankster however. Most of the laughs he generates come from good, clean, accidental circumstances, unintentional slips of the tongue, or just things he doesn't get and hilariously screws up.
[break]Also attesting to his childish nature, he adores children. If he's not eating, sleeping, cooking, in the kitchen, or, erm, cooking or sleeping, you'll probably find him out playing double dutch with kids. He also likes visiting the orphanage. Sometimes he wishes that he would have gotten married earlier in life so that he could have had a family. Did he have one before the point where his memory blanks out? The thought often keeps him awake at night.
[break]His dream job always was and always will be a chef. Kronk loves cooking to the point that he does all his own, as well as running his restaurant. Years of experience (well, at least he thinks, years of experience, after all he can only remember three months back) have made him an excellent cook. It is said that his best dish comes from his top-secret, extra-special recipe for foie gras- duck liver. However he does have other, more appetizing specialties, the most famous of which is probably spinach puffs.
[break]His conscience is developed to the point that there are two clear sides to his right and wrong. To him, they manifest themselves as an angel and Mephistopheles, and rest on his shoulder. When he has to make a tough decision he often pauses and talks to them, which can be weird if he starts pointing to his shoulders. Otherwise, however, it just seems that he's talking endlessly to himself.
[break]At first when one meets him, though, he seems to be little more than a bumbling oaf that would be perfect working next to a certain purple-skinned, empress-wannabe who is living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth villain as their muscle. He's solid, tough, strong, and when he wants to be, immovable. He takes orders well, though he's not quite good at carrying them out- he operates much better on a self-planned schedule. Still, he always sees things though to the end, no matter how long it takes.
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Backstory
Kronk was born during the time of the glorious Inca empire, a time in Mesoamerican history when progress was being made, the eating was good, men grew big and strong, and boy scout troops learned squirrel-ese as part of their mandatory training. Wait... what?
[break]Well, in any case, Kronk had a normal upbringing, just like that of any other child during that time frame. He had a mother named Mani and a father named Papi, and they lived happily together in a little hut nearby the palace where the emperor resided. Mani and Papi worked as health and fitness advocates in addition to their other jobs. Both tried to take time out of their busy lives to be the best parents they could be to their only son, and for the most part they succeeded. There were some little things, however, that should have been different/better. The biggest one was that Papi was a bit short-tempered, and from the start was harsh on Kronk. This especially became evident as Kronk grew to become a little bit... well... different than other boys his age. Kronk was a giant, and quickly shot up to be taller than most of them, but he was a gentle giant. He was never tough, didn't want to wrestle, and was sometimes awkward and clumsy. He joined boy scouts as a kid and found a talent in talking to squirrels, a pursuit that was in no way at all manly, like Papi wanted.
[break]The first time Kronk helped his mother cook was the first time that he truly found his passion. The smells were so good, and it was fun measuring out all the ingredients and popping them in the brick oven and watching the creations rise. It didn't matter if the recipe turned out good or bad, either. It was all the same. Kronk just loved cooking. He wasn't too big on putting things away, but his mom told him over and over that it, too, was part of the process so he got used to it and bore through.
[break]Papi didn't like this at all. Whenever he came in the room and saw Kronk cooking and feeding the squirrels, he voiced his disapproval and took away Kronk's oven mitts. Adorable little Kronk would then cry and run to his room. Or, later, as he got older, slink back to his room. He really did try to be what his father wanted him to be, but time and time again he failed to get an approval from Papi.
[break][break]Kronk grew into a powerful young man, with no ounce of evil in his heart at all. He remained involved in the troop, and even attained the highest rank, squeakity-squeaky-scout. But little did he know that he was soon to enter into a new chapter in his life.
[break]Kronk was on the way to scouts one day as a 25-year-old (he hadn't found a job yet, even with his amazing Squirrel-ese skills, and so still lived with his parents) when he saw someone come out of a palace side door, and kick someone else down the steep stairs. Kronk stopped to watch. It was an old purple-skinned, empress-wannabe, living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth woman, and the poor unfortunate soul falling down the stairs was a beefy man dressed in a palace uniform, who landed at the bottom gasping and hurting.
[break]The woman looked around and saw Kronk watching. She grinned, and pointed to him, beckoning him over. Kronk gasped a little bit and went to the stairs. When he passed the other guy he awkwardly reached down and patted him on the head. Then he went to the woman, cringing all the way up and wondering if he was going to suffer the same fate.
[break]But no. The lady asked- well, no, more like commanded- him to be her assistant. Then she introduced herself as Yzma, advisor to the emperor. Despite her obvious cruelty, Kronk was flattered. He didn't even have to say anything to accept. It was actually kind of nice.
[break][break]When he went home that night and told his Papi that he had gotten a job with the Emperor's advisor, he wasn't sure but he thought that he saw him smile a little bit. His mother congratulated him and cried a little at his impending move.
[break]And so Kronk found a not-quite-standard niche at the palace. He became a favorite with both Yzma and the emperor (Kuzco even gave him treats!). By day he was just Yzma's handyman, doing whatever official errands she asked him to run, but at night... he became her evil assistant! He had to keep this a secret, which was hard sometimes, it was just so exciting, but he managed somehow to cover up all their attempts at poisoning the teenage Emperor Kuzco and/or taking over his empire.
[break]But then one day their biggest, most daring attempt of all was commenced by Kuzco's biggest, most daring attempt at getting rid of them. In lieu of his eighteenth birthday, Kuzco must have decided that when he came in for the fifteen millionth time to find Yzma in emperor costume, talking to the peasants, that would be the last day she would work for him. And then and there, Yzma was fired. Angry, Yzma, Kronk right behind her, stormed down to their secret lab, where Kronk immediately got out all the stone busts of Kuzco he could find. He knew that she would want to destroy them with a big hammer. After a while of that, her anger boiled over to the point that she went to her lab and as always planned on how to get rid of the emperor once and for all.
[break]First she wanted to turn him into a flea, put him in a box, put that box in another box, mail it to herself, and smash it all with a hammer, but then she realized that they didn't have enough for postage. But then she knocked over one of their vials, and a flower died in a puff of smoke. The lightbulb went on in her head. She declared that they would poison him with the pink stuff. How about they invite him over for birthday dinner/going away dinner and mix it in with his drink? It was brilliant. It was perfect.
[break]Kronk would get to cook his spinach puffs!
[break][break]And so the deed was done, and before they knew it Kuzco was crashing through the door to Kronk and Yzma's lavishly-decorated table, a ball of energy as usual. Really Kronk felt sorry for the kid but being the villainess's helper, he could do nothing to help him. Kronk mixed the drinks right away, putting the poison potion in one of the three cups, and was about to give the emperor his drink, when Kuzco mentioned something burning. Kronk gasped and dashed to the kitchen to rescue his spinach puffs.
[break]It was a miracle, but the appetizers were only singed! He did a little dance for joy, making a note to thank Kuzco later for his sharp nose (which wouldn't be possible, he'd be dead!) and traipsed back out to the dining area, where Yzma was waiting, annoyed. Kronk set down the puffs and went to serve drinks again- but in the hurried moment had completely forgotten which drink he had put the poison in. He had a panic moment but managed to calm himself down and go back to the table to mix more poison in... but there was none left, he had used it all. So he put his brain cells together and simply mixed all the drinks together. A pink puff eminated from the concoction.
[break]Then motioning to Yzma not to drink the poison, he served it to the emperor. They drank to a long and happy reign by Kuzco- and while Kronk let it dribble down his chin, and Yzma didn't drink all all, the emperor drained his cup.
[break]Moments later he was out, cold. Yzma rejoiced, and praised Kronk. However higher praise was not to be, because all at once Kuzco popped up again. Yzma totally freaked out, and did her best to make amends.
[break]Then, much to the empress-wannabe and her assistant's horror, Kuzco sprouted some long llama ears... and then his neck lengthened and grew fur... Yzma took some broccoli and started bashing two against each other. At first Kronk didn't get it but when she muttered to hit Kuzco on the head, Kronk went over and did it with the bowl of broccoli.
[break]It turned out that Kronk had accidentally used llama-transforming poison... oops. Understandably, Yzma was angry. Still, in her villainy, she didn't kick Kronk out right away. She just made him promise to finish killing Kuzco. Somehow Kronk also convinced her to allow them to have dessert and coffee, too.
[break][break]And so later Kronk found himself carrying a large red bag, slung over his shoulder, and creeping down into the bowels of the palace, through the darkness, keeping to the shadows, accompanied by his own, self-sung theme song. No one at all noticed him, which Kronk considered a great accomplishment. (In all actuality, everyone noticed him, but he was so silly no one thought suspiciously of him.)
[break]Finally he got to the palace waterfall, where he was planning to drop the bag in and watch it go over. Kronk hefted the bag over the edge of the bridge and left to go. But that terrible conscience of his stopped him. His little angel asked him if he was just going to let him die like that. Then the demon dropped in and tried to prove that he was better, doing one handed handstands and shizz like that. But in the end Kronk decided to save Kuzco, 'cause the angel was right. There was no way he was going to just let the emperor die. Kronk was just as close to the emperor as he was to Yzma. And he felt sorry for the little guy. Yzma would be mad again, but she had to understand that he had more compassion than she did.
[break]However, a little problem that happened made it so that he didn't even have to tell her! Coming back down the stairs, Kronk tripped, and the bag with the llama-emperor inside flopped onto the cart of a peasant with a green poncho. Kronk tried to chase him through the crowd, but the poncho guy disappeared before he could catch him.
[break][break]Kronk just acted like he had let Kuzco go over the waterfall after all. Really he was relieved that he hadn't needed to compromise his feeling of goodwill and at the same time made sure that the emperor was safe. Soon, with Kuzco missing and presumed dead, Yzma had become the new monarch. Being the emperor's advisor, she was naturally next in line to the throne. Everything was pretty swell for the first couple of days. Yzma really was enjoying her newfound position and they were both reveling in their success.
[break]But it didn't take long for Kronk to open his big mouth. Somehow in all his quick babbling Yzma had suspicion to believe that Kuzco wasn't dead and Kronk had botched the job, subsequently hiding it from her. Man, he had never seen her face redder! But she still didn't fire him. It wasn't the last straw that broke the purple-skinned, empress-wannabe, living proof that dinosaurs roamed the earth camel's back (or, at least, his own back), and soon he found himself running around the countryside, carrying Yzma in a big purple tent. Out here in the field was where his skills as a scout truly came in handy. It was through his communications with a squirrel that they learned of Kuzco's near-death encounter with a vicious group of black jaguars, and how he was saved by a man in a green poncho... the same, Kronk figured, who had been pulling the cart on which the red bag had bounced.
[break][break]Squeaker’s information led them to a small restaurant in the backwoods of the kingdom. The smell as they walked in was alright to Kronk, who had been used to eating peasant food before being employed at the palace, but he thought it needed a little bit of improvement. Yzma however, did not find it appealing at all. Her first question when she was handed the menu was wether there was anything that wasn’t swimming in gravy.
[break]Kronk didn’t notice the fat man behind him was slightly familiar until Yzma went up to talk to the chef, and at the same time, the other guy’s wife got up and headed to the kitchen. Kronk struck up a lively conversation, which ended up with him not getting any closer to why the man seemed so familiar.
[break]When Yzma didn’t come back after a minute, Kronk just decided to go into the kitchen by himself. He ended up walking in at just the right time, as just as he did the chef stormed out, quitting his job. Yzma and the fat one’s wife had apparently driven him to the edge.
[break]Kronk’s hands trembled at first, but he looked at the hat in his hands and put it on. Then he stepped behind the stove and glanced at the gravy bubbling in the pot, no sooner than the waiter lady came back and read off a long list of orders to fill… it was pure jibberish to anyone else in that establishment, but the orders were music to Kronk’s ears. He recited them back in perfect form and got straight to work.
[break]Meanwhile Yzma came in… over and over and over, changing her mind over and over and over, about wether she wanted cheese… it was quite dizzying, but the distraction of cooking kept Kronk’s head in line. She was one crazy woman, that was for sure. He wondered how he put up with her sometimes. He answered her demands aimlessly and continued to cook, serving his orders right up no problem.
[break][break]Before long, the replacement cook showed up, and Kronk was relieved from his duties as chef. The waitress wanted him to stay and be permanent replacement, an offer that tempted Kronk very much, but he still had his duty to Yzma to fulfill. Before he knew it they were back on the road again, searching all over for a talking llama.
[break]However, in the back of Kronk’s mind, the identity of the man at the restaurant still nagged. He knew it… but it just eluded him.
[break]That is, until that night when Kronk woke up with a start. Hold on! The identity of the restaurant guy… he was the guy whose cart Kuzco’s bag had bounced onto! Kronk immediately went to Yzma’s tent to tell her, but unfortunately walked in on her beauty mask and cucumbered eyes.
[break][break]Yzma was far from angry with him this time. She was proud he had remembered, actually. It didn’t take long to figure out that the peasant in question was named Pacha and he was kind of the communal head of a nearby village on a hill. (Kronk seemed to recall thinking that Kuzco was thinking of building his summer getaway home on that hill… Kuzcotopia?)
[break]And so the evil duo invented excuses that they were distant relatives of Pacha’s and went to his house. The wife welcomed them warmly though a little bit hesitantly, and while she and Yzma talked in the kitchen, Kronk went to play jump rope with Pacha’s two young children, Chaca and Tipo. It was a grand time, they swapped stories and Kronk even helped them on their squirrelese a bit in addition to jump roping, a lot.
[break]While Chicha, the wife, was distracted, Yzma came and played for a little while, and also whispered about their plans. Still Kronk was unwilling to leave the kids. However they were both unaware that Pacha and Kuzco had come back and were alerting Chicha to what was happening. When they saw each other again, the wife demanded that she take them on a tour of the house… and locked them in the pantry instead, taking out the lock.
[break]Yzma did her usual round of threats, saying that she was going to burn the house to the ground once they told her where the talking llama was— corrected to that they were going to burn the house to the ground if they didn’t tell where the talking llama was. Finally Yzma decided it was time to break down the door, and on the count of three… she sped out the door, slipping on some floor wax, hitting her head on the door and flying into a wheelbarrow, and rolling down the hill, ran into a bees’ nest, getting covered in honey, a random pillow, which gave her feathers, and then finally crashing into a birthday piñata just as the kids were about to start whacking on it.
[break]Kronk couldn’t stop laughing. He promised Chicha and the kids that he’d come back to visit someday. Perhaps they could have a family reunion.
[break][break]Soon it was off pursuing Kuzco and Pacha again, and they kept in pretty close chase until, in an attempt to cross a large chasm via tent-glider, they got hit by a bolt of lightning and dropped into the water below.
[break]A while later….
[break]Yzma and Kronk watched Pacha and Kuzco look through all the potions, searching for the human one. However when they found the shelf, it was gone! ”Looking for this?” Yzma crowed, and showed the potion.
[break]But wait… how had they gotten back? To this day Kronk really doesn’t even know… Perhaps it had something to do with trapdoors and dumb luck but… yeah.
[break]Anyway now it had seemed that the villains had won for good. Yzma ordered Kronk to kill the other pair, and for a split second his brain reacted, determined to do whatever she asked. But then there came a rebuke from his conscience, and his Mephistopheles popped onto his shoulder. The angel was a little late, he was in the of doing his perm, but he too eventually joined the party.
[break]It seemed that no one else could see his conscience, but he did, and he was talking to it/them.
[break]It took her this long, but finally Yzma boiled over, declaring that Kronk was only like a monkey, and that she never liked her spinach puffs. The lashing out totally shocked and stunned Kronk, and he started to cry. The devil cocked his pitchfork, and declared that she was going down. It was the angel, however, who said sagely, “The wicked will receive their just punishment from above.”
[break]At the same time, all three of them looked up, and there… was their salvation. The chandelier. Why would there be a chandelier in their secret lab? But oh well. Kronk whipped around, cut the line, and winced as the huge iron thing came down.
[break]However, when the dust cleared, Yzma was still sitting there, tapping her foot. The center of the chandelier had gone straight around her. She was skinny as a twig. Obviously fed up with Kronk, she called the palace guards and proceeded to knock over the cabinet where all the potions were, scattering them all over the floor. Then she “inadvertently” lost the human potion in the mess. In the next moment a unit arrived, and Yzma ordered them to kill the llama.
[break][break]And so a gigantic chase ensued. Kronk tried to keep up, but ended up getting lost in the many odd quirky twists and turns in the palace. Eventually he found a door, which he opened and learned led outside. In slamming it open however he accidentally crushed Yzma, who was now a cat. This was in part what helped Pacha and Kuzco to win the day, and return the now eighteen year old emperor to his former glory.
[break][break]After that everyone was happy. Kuzco built a small but fun summer retreat on a hill, and a scout shelter was built there as well. Kronk served as head counselor and teacher of all things squirrel-ese. He also decided to take the job as head chef at Mudka’s Meat Hut, permanently.
[break]Soon, with the coming of kids near and far to the scout camp, Kronk found the need to hire on new personnel. And that was how he met Miss Birdwell. She was a great fit for the girl scouts, who needed a strong leader. Kronk also thought that she was really pretty.
[break]They thought it would be happily ever after…
[break][break]
[break]Kronk woke up feeling strange. He opened his eyes to the sight of a chef hat, sitting beside him. That was a super-familiar sight, but somehow it just felt all wrong. He swung his legs out of bed, and rubbed his eyes, then looked at his hands. They were callused, and there was a band-aid on one of his fingers. Burn, from the feel of it. Faintly he remembered he had burned it on a... pan? Yeah, a pan. Everything was so strange... but familiar all at the same time. He knew that his name was Neil. Neil Jeffery Kronkite. But everyone called him Kronk. He was thirty-seven years old, a chef, and owned his own restaurant. That was it, everything he remembered.
[break]Over the next three months, he faced the challenge of re-discovering himself. Life was one big adventure to him. He found that he liked being around kids. Okay, okay, he loved being around and playing with kids. Many of the townspeople who dealt with them were became friends as well, like Perdita at the orphanage, and Bailee Goodwin, the schoolteacher. Then there were those he went into business with, like Jack Burton, the event planner. Whenever he needed an event catered, Jack would call up Kronk. Neil wouldn't change a thing about this new life. He's quite enjoying himself. Heaven only knows what the future holds for him.
[break][break]
Roleplayer
Player Bry
[break]Other Characters Daniel Johnston, Carl Fredricksen, and Clayton Savage
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