Fear

HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[attr="class","next"] The party was a distraction, nothing more. As Helen looked from guest to guest, she felt nothing but the dullest sense of…amusement. Perhaps that was the best way to put it. She was amused that they were all so carefree when she was a bundle of nervous energy.

The knock on the door drew her out of her own thoughts. Wrapping her fur stole around her body, she crossed into the foyer and threw it open, anticipating John…but what she got was something different entirely.

Soaking wet, standing on her front porch was Robin. “Helen?” Someone was calling her back to the party. She hesitated, contemplated closing the door on his face. She didn’t do the woe-begotten romance — she didn’t do romance in general. In fact, she didn’t want a boyfriend…she had wanted a distraction. And Robin had disappeared, making him not a very good distraction. As she gripped the door and pushed it closed a few inches, she realized he was holding a wound. “Dammit.” She breathed before reaching out and grabbing his arm, yanking him inside. “What did you do?” She hissed, eyes constantly jerking to look and make sure no one from the party had trickled over into the foyer.

“You disappear for another two weeks and then…” She ran her hands through her wavy blonde hair, pushing it away from her face in frustration.

“Helen?” The voice called again. She had made up her mind. Helen pointed to the stairs with dangerous eyes and then went back to the party. For a few moments, she sat amongst her ‘friends,’ feeling stunned. She had an injured convict in her bedroom and a housefull of drunk party guests.

“I feel ill.” She mentioned off-hand to John. He put his hand on her forehead and told her she was just fine. “No, I’m sick.” She said, straightening her back as she glared at everyone. They seemed rather shocked. “I think the party is over.” It didn’t take long for them to gather up their furs and gold and spirits and head out. John lingered for a few moments, but Helen pushed him out with a shove and slammed the door.

She took the stairs two at a time before throwing open her bedroom door. “Robin Hood, you complete ass hole! I hope you’re dying because that will be the only excuse I’ll accept!” She growled, careful not to be too loud as her windows were slightly open.

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HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[attr="class","next"] “You think I’m going to patch you up because you showed up at my doorstep like a sad little puppy?” Helen asked, shutting the door behind her as she walked into her bedroom. She was tempted to go to him, to figure out what was wrong. But she was tired of him disappearing. It was hard enough that they had to meet in secret, but even worse was that she had to wait for him to show up at her doorstep or sweep in through her window in the middle of the night. There were no guarantees.

You didn’t want a boyfriend, remember? Helen reminded herself as she walked into the ensuite bathroom and shed her layers, replacing them with the robe that was tucked behind the door. They had kissed — it had meant nothing more. A kiss. When she returned to her bedroom, she pretended to be surprised that Robin was still there.

She was going to stand there staring at him, but her conscious finally got the best of her. Crawling across her bed, she sat in front of him as he stood next to her bed, taking his arm into her hands. The wound was hot — it had been reopened and was verging on infection. Quietly, she examined the skin. She could wash it, compress it, take care of it. But it wouldn’t satiate her.

“What did you do, soldier?” She asked, a certain amount of tenderness creeping into her voice. She tried to stay pragmatic and calculated, but with Robin, it was difficult. She saw something in him that she didn’t see in many people. And the way that he looked at her…slowly, her eyes found his as she realized that she was hurt that he kept disappearing on her.

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HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[attr="class","next"] “Your job.” Helen repeated as she looked up at him, her hands still softly running over the stubble on his chin. There was a silence between them — but not one that felt uncomfortable for Helen. She had grown used to being around him. He hid things, as most of them did…her included. Hiding things was just a part of who they were. She understood. They came from two different worlds and yet, she felt they were so much the same.

I’m sorry, Helen. I’m sorry.

Helen didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure how to handle the apology and for a moment she could do nothing but gape at him. She wanted to kiss him — to remember the feeling that had been haunting her for weeks, but she couldn’t. Not yet. Not when he was obviously hurt. “Don’t,” Her inner soldier training seemed to take over as she stood, facing him in her robe and then gently moved him so he could sit on her bed. She went back into the bathroom and returned with a small medical kit that she kept for emergencies.

“You should be more careful. This looks like a reckless wound, Hood.” She said dryly, still trying to be angry with him but it was going rather poorly. As she began checking his wounds, she bit her tongue, trying not to say more, but she found it was hard to control. “Apology accepted.” She said at long last. “I’m sorry, too. For…flying off the handle. Unprofessional.” Professionalism had nothing to do with it. It wasn’t in her nature to say such things, but she felt the need to prove herself worthy of someone like Robin, though she would never admit it to herself. Squinting her eyes, she dabbed at the wound, trying to ebb the bleeding. “What did you do?” She was trying her hardest not to think about the lucid kisses from weeks before — trying to ignore the flipping of her stomach every time she met his brown eyes — trying to distance herself from the situation, but it seemed fruitless.

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HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[attr="class","next"] “Don’t remember mine either.” Helen said, conversationally as she stuck another stitch into his arm, fully sealing the wound. “Just Gaston and Clayton. Makes me wonder where we all came from…you know, what kind of mother pushes out three of the worst children in the universe?” Her brothers had become her rock in Wonderland. They were the reasons that she pushed herself to outwit, out charm and out manipulate everyone that she came into contact with. It was the Savage way. Or it had been until she had met Robin. Was she going soft? Surely she wasn’t. Helen bit down on her lip as she made the final loop with the needle, and secured it.

Releasing the breath that she had been holding, Helen put the thread in her mouth and picked up the small pair of scissors that was in the kit. She cut the end of the thread and looked at her handy work. They were military grade stitches — you couldn’t get those at the blasted clinic those buffoons in the village had set up.

He was grinning — the grin was physically taking over his face and Helen could only laugh. Something about him made her disregard what a horrible person she had been over the past five months. She had exploited peoples’ secrets and ruined their lives, but still…he made her feel as if there was something to be smiled at. “Your face’ll get stuck like that.” She said with a smirk. There was still a bit of apprehension — Helen thought back to the other night when everything had seemed so dream-like, but this was real. This was the realist thing she had felt. “So this is…are you sure you’re alright with this, soldier?”

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HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[attr="class","next"] Helen found herself smiling — something she didn’t often allow. She was used to being so secure in her own guard, always keeping her head held high and her nose held even higher. But for Robin…she wanted to be something different. She wanted to prove to him that she wasn’t just a pretty face with a stone cold heart. She could be something more. She wanted to be something more.

He called her commander and she felt a sense of satisfaction. It wasn’t that he was addressing her in that way, it was that he was trying to respect her…or at least, playfully address her. Her world seemed like a dream. The vigilante and the soldier. The queen of order and the king of chaos.

Her eyes danced with understanding. She was more than just the woman whose house he snuck into, now. And he was more than just the bandit who had destroyed her room on his first night stealing from her. He had become an integral part of her understanding in Wonderland. A part that she didn’t want to give up. She wanted to give herself to Robin and it seemed the feeling was mutual. “More than alright,” Helen said as she ran her fingertips across his lips before he leaned back and just out of reach.

Helen busied herself with putting the medical kit back in order, wiping the scissors off with antiseptic wipes and re-spooling the thread before she tucked it into the nightstand. She moved next to him, lying on her stomach and kicking her feet into the air as she stared at the slightly adjacent balcony doors. “I think I’d like to meet somewhere that didn’t include you breaking into my house, though.” She glanced over at him, tempted to kiss him, just to be sure, but she felt…timid. "Not that I particularly mind meeting you in my bedroom, Hood...but...I do have other interests." 

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